stand still

It is the simplest directive, and the hardest thing to do. But God promises to fight for us if we only stand still (Exodus 14:14, paraphrase). I am restless these days. Very. And the heat hampers any kind of outdoor activity - like gardening, or walking the dogs, or simply BEING outside.  

So I am trying, desperately, to be still. And I know that if I can be still, I will know God, because God is surely in this stillness (Psalm 46:10). This is what I cling to. This is what I need to hold onto and believe with all my heart. God is fighting for me. I need only be still. 

My life has been running full tilt since last Fall, when I entered seminary while continuing to work full time at my parish as a music minister. The semester is over, and as of June 26th I am not only unemployed (having left my job) but bereft of a faith community.

No wonder I am restless.

This is not a new place for me. No, it is very familiar territory. I’d like to think that each time I find myself here I am a bit wiser, maybe? A bit more patient, kind, and gentle with myself? 

My friend Mike has made some good friendships with a few of the monks who live in community at the Abbey of the Genesee. He said that when life is just too much (or too little), the monks’ recommend that we simply “abide” in whatever state our life is in. That’s great advice, isn’t it? And so very hard to follow. But what we, what I forget, is that we’re never in this alone. We have - always on our side -  a mighty Protector, Advocate, and Champion. Some One who will always, always have our backs.

So I will, with God’s grace, stand still, and ponder, and abide in this restlessness. I will meditate on the good things - those trials which my Good God has brought me through. And I will let God take care of fighting the thoughts and feelings that trouble me. Oh yes, there are many - those who are close to me know. 

The things that trouble me I have no control over. I have no power to fight the thoughts that lay in wait, ready to ensnare my heart and bring me down. So I will stand still in the truth of who I am, and let God do the fighting.